|
[20 Sep 2005|09:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
modest mouse |
] |
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Looking kind of anxious in your cross armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it's myself
And I'm trying to understand myself
and pinpoint where i am
By the time I get things figured out
I've change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that i'll probably reget soon
I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself
|
|
| !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[04 Sep 2005|01:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
ELLIOT IS MOVING TO HIS MOMS, GLENDALE, HELLO!! FUCKIN 10 MIN AWAY FROM MEEEEE!! AAHH SO STOKED
|
|
|
[21 Aug 2005|01:51pm] |
|
|
| Don't Even Bother, Just Venting. |
[25 Jun 2005|12:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 DENIAL |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
metric |
] |
It's way too late to be this locked inside ourselves
The trouble is that you're in love with someone else
It should be me, it should be me
And so may, we make time
Try to find somebody else
This place is mine
You said today, you know exactly how I feel
I had my doubts
I'm in love with something real
It could be me, that's changing
And so may, we make time
To try and find somebody else
Who has a line
See what stands long ending fast
Oh, how I love you in the evenings
When we are sleeping
We are sleeping.
We were too wasted to close the window.
Friends and family looking into my only hiding place
The rythmn of a stranger's skin.
Somebody put me back in school, I forget everything.
I used to know how to leave the boy behind
without having to watch him go.
Infidel to die for what I'm doing
will happen in the morning when the mirror won't recognize me.
He holds a certain gesture when we're lovin' to ask each other
"Do you want it?" "Do you want me?"
I want it. It is you. You are where I want to be.
&
Oh yes I'm guilty
For leasing myself out
Not ready to go up for sale
Can't seem to give it up
Stubborn, so selfish
I'm showing off the worst in me
You really deserve love
I want to love you
But I can't seem to find myself
My wilting effort
Our progress report
I'm only sure that I'm not sure
Re-read, re-write, redo, undo
I'm stuck on this page
I was born two weeks late
Is that why I hesitate?
I'm on the fence
Push me off it
I want to be on your side now
And keep a promise
You had the best
But you gave her up
Cause dependency might interrupt
Idealistic will so hard to please
Put your indecisive mind at ease
You broke the set
Now there's only singles
There's no looking back
This time I mean it
No more leaning on your shoulder
I won't be there, no more bother
If you feel you just might want me
That's too bad, I'm not the easy
The contemplator all those years
Now you must adhere
To your new career of liberation
You've been cast all by yourself
You're free at last You broke the set
Now there's only singles
And how long I've been dealing with it
I knew it was coming, but didn't know how
soon
She said I've reached another adolescent
monsoon
There's no looking back
This time I mean it
Nothing could beat complete denial .
|
|
| I LOVE DRUGS TOO |
[16 Jun 2005|12:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 optimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
blatz- roadkill |
] |
Now you've moved along and you've got a new trend
Criticizing all our ways denying your old friends
Your big ass mouth out weighs your brain
You're only talking shit cause you couldn't hang
For all the time around there was nothing learned
Just cause you burnt out doesn't mean our fire doesn't still burn
We dont fucking give a shit
Maybe you're right things will never change
But I'd rather die trying than being just the same
This is our way of life, one you chose not to live
You say the good times are gone and that we won't last
But you don't make a future looking to the past
But I guess when you get jaded it's easy to forget
Well I'm still pissed as ever and it ain't over yet!
|
|
| chokin on that home-grown |
[06 Jun 2005|09:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 high |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
shhh |
] |
Im loving san diego. i missed it here soo much. im gunna be gone this weekend, i have to go to disneyland n shit.. i think im taking the greyhound. someone SHOULD COMMEE. Im not exactly sure when im heading back to arizona but i think people should start making plans with mee sooon / / the number you could reach me at : 423.3999. im still so fuckin thrilled to be here...!!! yayy!!
|
|
| unsure what the balance held |
[28 May 2005|07:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothing. |
] |
ive been getting into some trouble lately...
my mom has lost complete trust so imma be staying in San Diego for a while. I miss everyone anyways.. i hope i can see all you guys during my stay.
|
|
| well fuck.. |
[26 May 2005|09:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
contravene- in darkness |
] |
Ive been grounded for over a week, i dont know how long exactly but to those of you who have been messaging me sorry i havent been able to get back to you. shit went down. IM GOING TO SAN DIEGO IN AUGUST for over a week. i dont think anyone understands how fucking happy i am.
HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY JESSICA
AND YARA I LOVE YOU GIRLS LIKE CRAZY.
i love having freedom.
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2005|05:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
interpol |
] |
im lonely
|
|
| so here i am counting down the days til california comes |
[18 Apr 2005|05:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the smiths - suedehead |
] |
Im here at my new house, its way bigger than my old one but i like it. my room is kick ass and the city is pretty kick ass as well. i start school tomorrow and im stoked for that.. meet new people n shit.
so for those of you who wanna keep in touch, you could call and i'll call you right back cuz i have unlimited long distance phone calls which kicks ass too. so heres my new number: (623)792.5668.
i miss you all and hope someone calls.......
|
|
| good-bye san diego |
[11 Apr 2005|09:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 numb |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sugar minott- jah almighty |
] |
today is my last full day in san diego for a while.
as most of you know im moving to arizona.
i'm leaving tomorrow around the afternoon.
uhmm, yah thats all.
|
|
| ..like a bad girl should |
[24 Mar 2005|10:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
whorehouse of representatives - economic liposuction |
] |
Spring break has been allright so far..
I attended the funeral dress show
Which was so awesome.
I went to this chill house show/ party..
I won 25 bucks.. hahah ;D
Had the best time fuckin EVER.
IM MOVING APRIL 12TH.
Soo i'd like to hang out with everyone before i leave this town.
PEOPLE MAKE PLANS WITH ME BEFORE I MOVE!!
ESPECIALLY: IBELISSE, NATALIE, ERICA, ANTHONY.
( >wasted< )
|
|
| I LOVE GETTING SCREWED OVER!!! |
[12 Mar 2005|09:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
peter tosh - no sympathy |
] |
drinking vodka on an empty stomache = bad news.
waisting money and taking the trolley for over 4 hours to meet up with some guy i dont even know = never again.
him being a burn = bullshit.
but me being with yara jessica and alexis made everything okay.
and it wasnt such a bad night after all..
|
|
| why am i the one to fuckin blame |
[06 Mar 2005|09:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
agnostic front - victim in pain |
] |
People say that I'm insane
A victim of society just in pain
Society's rules have made me cruel
I'm just the opposite, ain't no fool
The way I act or way I dress
Doesn't make me strong or make me best
Soon they'll find my reasons why
I'm open minded and not blind
But why am I going insane
Why am I the one to blame
Open your eyes, don't tell me lies
I'll be the one to live and rise
I'll think for myself and I'm sure to find
That society's rules won't change my mind
|
|
| GIRL FIXER |
[05 Mar 2005|12:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the distillers |
] |
No more coquettish look on your face
Not so much pretty but you're in your place
Hide behind your friends,
Don't dare to think for you
Keep your claws off me as I walk on through
Walk on through,
Don't you glare
I'm not the kind of girl who will just pull on your hair
I won't be through
until you're blue
Just us two !
What are you gonna do?!!
Damn man, come on and sell your seconds
No on can make ya break ya
Anyway i'll make ya brake ya
they'll crown me .
Never used to harm no-one
No matter what the reason
Now you dug your grave
And it's BITCH hunting season
Smiling madly (you're insane) honey
When I see you around
I'll get you on the ground
It's not my plan to steal your friends,
yer a pitiful sight and hard to stand
I guess you dont get a clue
So step your ass aside and let me walk on fucking through
|
|
| and i dont even gotta listen to all the stupid shit you gotta say |
[02 Mar 2005|03:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
NONE. |
] |
My birthday was pretty chill. As most of you know i had a party and i left early cuz im a stupid drunk. I regret that.. but i know it's too late.
I wanted to thank everyone for the presents they got me.
Yara, thank you for the dvd.. i watched it and its pretty good.
Elliot, thank you for the weed brownies& cake.. sooo good.
Mat, thank you.. or yer mom.. for the bracelet and toe ring.
Delena, thank you for the card. that was sweet of yer ass.
yah i guess thats about it.
oh yah.. I am moving april 7th.. i have mixed feelings about that.
Lately i havent been feeling too hot but im not gunna sit here and mope.
maybe i will.. thats what journals are for right?
writting yer feelings out?
so here i go.. venting on someone elses lyrics:
I couldn't sleep last night
My ears were ringing in my head
Best friends with the boogie man
I may be better off here dead
Running on empty once again
Too tired for tears I dread
Sink deep into those magic dreams
While I blast off in my bed
And you know I played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain
You know cause everyone says that i'm not the same
Since I changed my name
Three hours later and i'm staring at the ceiling still
Xanax does nothing more but calm the sleeping thrill
Turning the pillows round and round to find the cold spot for my head
Ah, bless my only friend
And you know I played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain
You know cause everyone says that i'm not the same
And everyone turns tricks for fickle fame
I feel my body's lost control
My knees get weak as I drift away
And it gets darker, darker
Dreaming's where I am
|
|
| out of control |
[19 Feb 2005|02:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothingness |
] |
last night i had a surprise birthday party at some place i've never been to all the fuckin way in mira mesa.
I figured the surprise part out before i got there. The directions my mom got off mapquest for everyone were wrong soo people got lost and some people didnt show. but for those who did, thank you for comming. As for my REAL birthday.. next saturday, the 26th.. there will be a PAARRTTYYY!!!
address : 938 A avenue
national city, CA
91950
P.S. DONT LOOK DIRECTIONS UP ON MAPQUEST, MAPQUEST CAN LICK A FUCKING DICK.
make sure you let me know if yer comming or not.. i need to do a head count.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
freedom_denied's journal
discontent
calm